Quick Preface: Nobody in America likes to think that sometimes the law isn’t enough. We hold the Constitution high, we hold our Courts high, and we strive toward the belief that they are the answer to all. But sometimes, they just fall short of what we as citizens need. So what do we do when the law falls short? I want to examine that at least a little bit here, examining some of the issues surrounding the GLBT community.

According to Servicemembers United, the number of GLBT service members who were discharged last year fell to an all-time low: only 443. 2008 saw 640 discharged. And there are currently a number of plans to get the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell rules repealed and replaced. It’s an exciting time for the GLBT community and a time with a lot of tension. Those with the loudest voices are being most obnoxious.

We were discussing issues relating to homosexuality and marriage and children and all that accompanies alternative family structures in class last week and we uncovered some amazing things about homophobia. And I really want to share some of those things here for a number of reasons, which I’ll discuss first.

Changing the laws is a great thing. I support equal rights for the GLBT and polyamorous communities absolutely. But changing the law to allow for “nontraditional” families is only the first step. It’s a huge first step, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just a battle in the war against bigotry. Sometimes the law isn’t enough, and that’s where the rest of us come in.

Fighting bigotry is about changing people’s beliefs and attitudes. It’s a dirty fight, too, one that requires devious plotting and thinking. Like BBC, for example, trying to figure out what people think about how the LGBT community is portrayed in their media. Sheer genius, I tell you. Because guess what? If we act like we don’t need to freak out about homosexuality, people eventually start to realize that we don’t need to freak out about homosexuality. Yes, it takes time. Of course it takes time. Changing law is easy in comparison.

The first step to fighting this battle is to understand the other side, and I mean to really understand them. Not just their arguments but their motivations.

Some of it is power, sure. Some of it is religious fervor. (For a really neat look at a new interpretation of homosexuality in Jewish thought, by the way, check out Wrestling with God and Men by Rabbi Steven Greenberg.) But a lot of it is fear and ignorance.

Humans fear The Other simply because it is different. If you’ve never encountered it before, it’s scary. Experience makes us open up to The Other, but those initial encounters are frightening. And for the bulk of America, the GLBT community is, sadly, The Other. It’s outside the American idea of normal, and a lot of Americans are either unaware they’ve met somebody from the GLBT community or they actually never have met somebody from the GLBT community. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to…well, you should know the rest.

Homosexuality also challenges the heterosexual’s worldview. It gets them questioning whether they, too, might be homosexual. It makes them wonder whether they, too, might be The Other that they fear. Questioning yourself and your identity is difficult enough; wondering if you might be something you fear is, I imagine, sheer torture.

And finally, lack of education. When all you hear is that loud, obnoxious voice telling you that homosexuality is wrong, when you never get the chance to hear the other side, or get to know somebody from the other side, then all you can believe is that homosexuality is wrong.

So, how do you – how do we – fight against it? Like I said above, this is a fight that requires thought and planning. You can’t beat someone over the head until they agree with you in this matter. Well, okay, you can, but that’s too much totalitarian for my tastes. So you have to get them to agree with you. And that’s a tricky thing to do.

The first is education. I know, big surprise, coming from a druid. But ignorance has to be fought with education. I’ve never met a pagan who doesn’t like to share their beliefs when prompted, and I’ve never met a pagan who doesn’t enjoy talking and educating if even in small ways. We’re a chatty bunch, and that can be used for so much good.

The second is how we act. I have, sadly, known the stereotypical gays: the women who are lesbians simply because they hate men, a man who is bisexual to stick it to his parents. These negative types color people’s perspectives of the GLBT community, even if they’re in the minority. This isn’t only something the GLBT community can do, either. We can respond to negativity about the GLBT community without being abrasive or harsh.

The third is media. How many pagans are in media settings? How many of us write or work with film or television or news or radio (or blog, for that matter!)? I don’t know how many of you have watched the show Firefly, but on the show there’s an interracial couple. And nobody mentions the fact that they’re interracial, which is kind of a big deal in modern society. But in the society of the show, it’s simply how things are. And because race isn’t brought to attention, most viewers simply gloss over it. Karen Traviss’ Wess’har series, a wonderful science fiction, brought up issues of polyamory and even examined current cultural attitudes about it, and because the characters involved kind of shrugged off any objections and had no problems, the relationship was just another fact. Not a big deal.

None of these are quick fixes. This isn’t something that will be over in my lifetime, sadly. The one thing we can change in a relatively short period of time is the law. And it’s going to have to be good enough for now. But everything else needs to come into place, because the law just doesn’t always cut it.

** While this was meant to be inclusive of those who identify as bisexual or pansexual or any other form of sexual, it’s so much easier for me to simply say homosexual. My most sincere apologies.